This is pretty old, but when we saw it this morning we couldn’t resist. As you may know, Beyoncé, the singer/diva/Jay-Z wife/deliverer of fabulousness, was in Brooklyn last week to open a cosmetology center at the Phoenix House treatment facility in DUMBO. All well and good. But here is what borough president Marty Markowitz said to mark the occasion:
“The beauty industry is a lucrative one, here in New York City and worldwide, and cosmetology is a wonderful and creative career. “And of course, as we know, everyone—from ‘Single Ladies’ to ‘Independent Women’ to men and women of every walk of life—we’ve all got ‘Bills, Bills, Bills’ and need skills to pay the bills! This training program will be helping the hard-working students at Phoenix House Career Academy to graduate into a new world of creative expression and economic stability—to be able to say more than just “I’m a Survivor” but also enjoy the “Sweet Dreams” of real success. How do Brooklynites say how we feel about the Beyoncé Cosmetology Center? We say it’s ‘Bootylicious’!”
We don’t think we have ever seen so many Top Ten hits crammed so injudiciously into one paragraph. But why didn’t Markowitz go further? Why didn’t he, for instance, say that having a cosmetology center could “boost the ‘Ego’ of Phoenix House”? Or that “with this center, Brooklyn will have a new ‘Halo’ around it”? Or that “I’ve been to so many opening ceremonies that this one is giving me a sense of ‘Deja Vu'”? (Thanks to Wikipedia.) We will give Markowitz props, though, for being willing to say the word “Bootylicious” in a public forum. Honestly, could you imagine Mike Bloomberg going near that one?
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